I tried to refocus on what I was here for, but I made the mistake of looking down at his cock. Fuck, it looked so much bigger than mine, I just wanted to finish so I could go. But he was pissing like a wild river flowing, so I had to have another look. He must have seen me and all I heard was “So, do you like my cock?”. I looked across at him as he finished peeing, much quicker than me, I noticed that he hadn’t put his cock away yet though.Shit, not my best moment. I muttered something about it being pretty good, all I wanted was to leave. I focused on the advert in front of me, while I was still peeing and well, just my luck, I felt my cock betray me and start to stiffen between my fingers. “It seems like your cock likes my cock”, he said, he was obviously watching me. Well fuck, what was I supposed to do now. I just added “We can’t always control what our cocks like can we?”.He responded, “I like to watch a guy piss, always have, makes me feel like a dirty, horny bastard”, then he. .. As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol poisoning - or loneliness, whichever gets me first. I don't know how in the world I got to this point in my life but Jesus Fucking Christ, it sucks. I want my happy ending too, dammit. I want kids and a loving husband. A family to come home to that will be excited to see me with hugs, kisses and I love you's. I want my husband to come up behind me and hug me while I wash dishes in my sweats and an old, baby-stained, oversized t-shirt who never doubts that I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. I.
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